Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Day 7: Get Involved

My sisters and I have been involved with a lot of things in our lives. From music to sports, there hasn't really been a time when we weren't late for a practice somewhere. Looking back on those memories, one of the things that stands out to me the most is the presence of my parents. My dad was the president of everything--the band boosters and the Pleasant View Jr. Pro Athletic Association stick out in my mind the most. No matter what my sisters and I were doing, dad was there. Even now, he goes and cheers on my sisters in their music performances when he can. Since we've all moved out, he's gotten involved with Vanderbilt's baseball team, and he travels to watch them too. He's a great supporter and encourager, and I'm sure if you know him, you know his voice. It carries.

My parents have taught me to be involved with my kids' lives in the future. Even when they tell me not to, I'll still go and bring snacks or just sit quietly in the stands so when they look up searching for a familiar face, they'll see mine and feel a little less nervous.


Friday, October 10, 2014

Day 6: "No way me too!"

My parents waited 7 years to have my twin. That sounds weird. Okay, fine. We aren't actually twins, but we kind of are. Autumn is the baby. The "surprise". She is a legit miracle child in every sense of the word. My sisters are my best friends. We've been through life together. Even if we don't live in the same house or same state, we still talk all the time and we share life with each other. There are things we say to each other that we would never say to anyone else. Autumn and I like to say that we share a personality. Or really 5 personalities. Susan, Thomas, Jeff (as in Jeff the Wiggle), Alicia, and Autumn. We were separated at birth (+7.5 years).

If you watch Grey's Anatomy, you'll understand that Autumn is my person. I don't love her more than Amanda or Alayna, but she is the person who says "That happens to me too." She reminds me that I'm not alone. I'm not crazy for feeling the way I feel about things. The stupid things I get excited or angry about, she is there to say "NO WAY ME TOO!" or NWMT. We shortened it because we said it so much. Autumn and I are so much alike, but I can only hope that I have the same qualities she has.

Autumn is brave. She's hilarious. She takes chances and risks. She is quirky, but she's not afraid of it. She has a unique style, and she does not care that she gets weird looks when she wears a turban. Autumn loves people. She sees the good in people that others write off. She appreciates. She notices. She is smart and passionate. She gets cranky when she's tired. She gets silly when she's tired-er. She loves Yoo-hoo's and Cheez-its and Twix bars. She's allergic to peanut butter and fake people.

She is my sister, a miss, not mister. Smallest of four, farthest from the floor. How did she get tall? Her name, it means "fall". For some, a favorite season, and we all know the reason. It's cause of her, you see. Cause she is Pre-et-ty.


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Day 5: It's okay to show some emotion

When I was younger, I was pretty animated, but I was also a little shy. It depended on the setting, really. I think. There was a time when I wanted to be the center of attention, but somewhere along the way I decided that other people's opinion of me mattered more than my own. So I would stop telling stories if they weren't totally relevant to everyone present. I would stop expressing my opinion if I thought it might offend someone. I sank back into the shadows. I took the backseat to let others drive. As a result of that, I still struggle with expressing myself. Sometimes I hold it in for so long that I end up crying. Not always because I'm sad, but mostly because I'm overwhelmed. My soul gets overwhelmed. I have a hard time making decisions too. That's a big struggle.

One person who has no problem showing emotion is my sister Alayna. Alayna operates in extremes. Things are rarely mediocre in her life. Everything is either awesome or horrible. While that can be exhausting, I'm sure, it also means that she is not afraid to express herself. She lets people know how she feels. She doesn't keep dating a boy that bugs her because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. She doesn't let people discourage her love of Alabama football (I'll probably write a whole post on the Tide at some point. Thank you, Mom, for that love.) She clings tightly to the people and things she loves: her family, Alabama football, Haiti, Africa, orphans, JESUS, etc. She doesn't worry what other people think of what she says or tweets or posts on Facebook. She looks for the good in situations that seem dark to others. She befriends people that are ignored by others. She does not care if she hasn't seen someone in 15 years. If they were friends in kindergarten, they are still friends. She laughs loudly. She cries. She laughs so hard that she cries. She fake cries so hard that she for real cries. And she absolutely does not love it when you put your sock in her mouth.

Alayna teaches me that it's okay to show emotion. It's okay to express how you feel. It's okay if someone doesn't agree with you. There is no reason to hide.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Day 4: Don't Give Up

My sister, Amanda, has always set goals for herself. When we were miniature, her goal was to win the District, State, and National Free Will Baptist Singing Competitions each year. When she did, she had an iconic (shrill) scream that she became known for. People would plug their ears when they heard her name being called. In high school, her goal was to be voted Best Dressed of her senior class, and she succeeded. She went to an expensive college and graduated with some student loan debt, so her next goal was to pay that off. She worked hard to get there, but she didn't put the rest of her life on hold. She and her husband still travelled (a lot) and still pursued other goals and dreams at the same time. She's had one big goal for a long time. She's always wanted to own a café. A place where she could have coffee with people and talk with them and build relationships. Last fall, she paid off the last of her student loans, and on January 1 of this year, she and Chris bought their café.

There have been times that Amanda thought her dream would be realized only to be faced with another disappointment. She may have had to wait, but she never lost sight of that desire to have a place where she can make friends every day. Now she has that place. And she loves it. And the people love her. One man said "she's like the mayor of this town. she knows everybody." And that is accurate. Amanda will talk to you like she's been your best friend for all 32 years of her life even if it's the first time she's ever seen you. She does not care if you're a stranger. She will treat you like family.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Day 3: Music

Oh my word. I could probably write about the lessons I've learned about music from my family for all 31 days. It may will definitely come up again. God is first. Family second. Music is third. A strong third.

I mentioned on the first day that when my family gets together, we sing. We also shoot guns (at targets), but that's a story for another day. At some point, the guitars and egg shakers come out and we sing our way through hymns, old songs my grandparents and great-grandparents taught all of us, new songs, and every song my cousin Matt or Uncle Tony has ever written. We all know them. And we know all the harmony and echo parts too. You'd think it would get old, but it just doesn't. It's always wonderful. Whether we're around a fire outside, or around a futon in the basement of my aunt and uncle's house, it doesn't matter. The songs are the same. The people are the same. That's what home feels like to me. I lived in the same house from the summer of 1987 until May of 2011, but that's not what I think of when I think of home. I think of music. But not just any music. Our music.

My mom's family is mostly all musical in some capacity. On my dad's side, dad sings and his brother plays every instrument. Just about. That's how it felt when I was growing up, at least. He mostly plays the fiddle, and he gave me a violin for Christmas one year. I took lessons for a couple of years, and I wish I had stuck with it. Just like those pesky piano lessons. I want to play everything now and I wish I had learned when I was younger.

My love of music came from both sides of my family, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. If you find yourself with nothing, and everything seems lost, you still have a voice and a song in your heart. Regardless of the circumstances, music just always IS.


Day 2: God's Word is Valuable

Up until my senior year of high school, my mom ran a day care. For a while when I was very little, that day care was a separate building from our home. When I was 9, Alayna was 4 and Marm realized she hadn't been at home with Alayna at all since she was born. So Marm quit the "external" day care and brought it to our house. She started out by just keeping a few kids during the day, and then she got licensed by the State to keep more and opened her own business. There were kids there when she woke us up for school and kids there when we got home. Some of them came and went, and some became part of the family.

One day, one of the children tore my Mom's Bible to pieces. She wrote in it, ripped out pages, and just destroyed it. My Mom was devastated. She loved her Bible so much and had written so many notes in the margins and underlined so many ways God spoke to her within those pages. It broke her heart to see it messed up, and she cried for a long time.

She got a new Bible--maybe a few more since that day--but that memory sticks out to me. My Mom loves her Bible. Not because of how much she paid for it or who gave it to her, but because of what's inside. She has always taught us songs about the Bible or written from Bible verses. She taught us to memorize scripture when we were little, and those verses are still with me. Her dad was a preacher, and her mom loved God's Word too, and that was passed down to my mother and then to me.

God's Word is valuable because of who God is. With technology today, you can carry multiple versions of the Bible in your pocket, but I still love turning the pages of the Book. God's Word is living and active and relevant to every day. I learned that from many people, but mostly from my Mom. Thanks Marm. :)

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Day 1: Family Facts

Hi. I'm Alicia. I'm the second oldest of 4 girls. We're spread out from age 20 to 32. I have one brother-in-law, one boyfriend, and my two younger sisters both have boyfriends named John. My mom and dad are still married. My mom is one of 5 kids--2 boys and 3 girls--all are married and have children and some have grandchildren. My dad has a brother who has a daughter and 2 sons--all with kids of their own. My family is big. My family is loud. My family drives me crazy most of the time. But. I love every one of them because they are mine.

I've learned lots of valuable things from my family over the years, and i'm going to take these October days to write some of them down.

Lesson 1 for today is: Family is Important. I learned this from everyone. My mom's family is quite large. Both of her parents have died in the last 10 years, so currently there are:
10 adults/parents
17 kids (+6 spouses and 3 boyfriends)
11 grandkids

Every "Christmas" we get together--as many of us that can make it--and we hang out. We sing. We stay up too late. We open presents. We celebrate. Most years it's actually New Year's when we get together (that's why I used quotation marks). We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our individual families, and then everyone who doesn't already live in Middle Tennessee travels there to join everyone else around NYE/New Year's Day. It's amazing. Sometimes not everyone can make it, but we make the most of it with who is there and miss the ones who aren't. We eat a lot. We dance a lot. We love each other. We Christmas. I know that's not a verb, but that's the best one I have. It's awesome.

The reason I know family is important is that my cousins and aunts and uncles will put their lives on hold to come be with everyone for 2 days. Some drive 8 hours just to be with the family. Family takes sacrifice. It takes time and compromise. But it's worth it when we're all together. Even when we fight, we wouldn't trade our fights with each other for peace with anyone else.

31 Days of Lessons From My Family


Day 1: Family Facts

Day 2: God's Word is Valuable

Day 3: Music

Day 4: Don't Give Up

Day 5: It's okay to show some emotion

Day 6: "No way me too!"

Day 7: Get Involved