bright lights, big city

Some people don't consider Atlanta "big", but when you've lived 20 minutes outside of Nashville, TN in an itty bitty town called Pleasant View your entire life like I have...Atlanta is big. I've been here for just over a week, and I love it. Everyone I encounter on a daily basis is wonderful. I have already (in 7 days) learned so much about ministry. I'm overwhelmed by what the rest of the summer could hold.

[Important characters in this story include.... Kristen (girls ministry director), Amanda (student ministry assistant), Parker (co-intern), Maclane (student minister), Andrew (full time intern), Tony (student worship pastor)]

Last Wednesday was my first day in the office. Wednesdays are 12 hour days here at FBA, so I started off with a bang. :) I got into town at 10 on Tuesday night because I kept thinking of things to do in Nashville before I left. I met a little over half of my host family (there are 8 of them. yep. eight.), and unpacked. Then Wednesday was spent doing mostly administrative "welcome to the staff" stuff like getting our badges and filling out paper work. It was glorious. haha. I also discovered on Wednesday that Kristen and I would be taking a trip to Anderson, South Carolina on Thursday. (Surprise!)

Thursday:6:45am:Kristen and I leave for Anderson University--the site of our Girls Retreat this summer. We arrived around 9, after stopping at Starbucks, of course, and had a wonderful morning with Becky Walker--who is potentially the most adorable and loving woman in existence. We fell in love with the campus and feel like God is orchestrating everything perfectly for our little trip in July. There's still so much to do, but we wish it was tomorrow instead of over a month away.

One of the wonderful things about working at FBA is that we have Fridays off. We make up for it by working 12 hours on Wednesdays and 4 hours on Sundays. So Friday and Saturday were wonderful, sleepy days for me. Friday night I had dinner with Parker's host fam and Saturday night their son[Grant] took us to a great pizza place called "Fellini's" and drove us around downtown. It was so relaxing and great. I'm very thankful for the fast friends I've been blessed with here! We finished our Saturday night off at Amanda's apartment eating brownies and watching Saturday Night Live (hosted by Will Ferrell = hilarious).

My first Sunday was a little unusual because it was Senior Recognition day. We have 2 Sunday School hours/services on Sundays, so Andrew and I did a few songs in the first service. Then we had brunch for the seniors and their families, and the second hour was devoted to the Student Choir and the recognition of our seniors. There are lots of them. :) It was a great, celebratory day and we viewed it as a complete success!

Sunday afternoon was spent with my host family. We played Rook and had family movie night. I've been so blessed with a place to stay and such a fun family to spend time with this summer! There are 8 of them, so life is a little like a sitcom most of the time. It's a blast!

Monday was my first real office day. I don't remember much about it... probably because it was Monday. haha. Maclane took us to the pastor/director meeting, so we got to meet some of the pastors and ministry directors on staff. There are so many people here! And they're all wonderful! Monday night was spent at Parker's host home again. This time it was to meet and celebrate a girl named Jackie who is an on campus missionary at the University of Florida.

Tuesday was spent deep inside a bag full of medical supplies that were either covered in cough syrup or outdated... so Amanda and I made a list of things we needed to purchase. It was fun. haha. Also on Tuesday afternoon, a paralyzed man and his wife came to FBA from Raleigh, North Carolina to be baptized. They watch Dr. Stanley on TV, and contacted the church to ask about accomodations for baptism. The staff here was so great and helpful and this man and his wife were able to be baptized together even though it was seemingly impossible. It was a blessing to be a part of something so meaningful to this couple!

And now today... I've been here again for 12 hours. :) I like Wednesdays. Today Amanda and I went to Wal-Mart to get new supplies for the med bag. When we got back, Tony informed me that I would be leading worship tonight since he's been sick for A WHILE now and just went to the doctor today... (Tonight went really well and was very fun!) Then we went on a work lunch thing to celebrate Kristen's 5 year anniversary at FBA and Andrew's 4 year anniversary. We took a church van. Amanda drove. We were headed to the Mall of Georgia where Stephen [the soon to be new associate student pastor] was meeting us for lunch. We were about a mile away when we ran over a drive shaft.

******it's now Sunday...see how much free time I have?? haha.******
so anyway. We ran over a drive shaft. And we got a flat tire. So we spent 90 minutes on the side of the road changing the tire. The van didn't have a complete jack; a Suwanee police officer didn't have a jack; lots of "gentlemen" in large trucks honked at us as they drove by, but didn't stop; Stephen had to bring us the jack in his truck. So we eventually made it to PF Chang's at the Mall of Georgia--where 8 warm and tired people ate lunch. It was an adventure, to say the least!

Thursday was rather uneventful in comparison. We spent a significant amount of time cleaning and moving things in our offices to prepare for Stephen's arrival on Tuesday and the construction that will be done while we're at camp. We also spent some time at Goodwill in the afternoon getting some wonderful clothes for camp. :)

I'm going to try to post again tonight about my crazy weekend. But there's the update so far!! Loves.

i have too much to say...

Oh man. It is a little after 11am on Monday...
in news unrelated to anything else:

• I just watched a girl walk confidently into the men's restroom in the library. She promptly turned around and sheepishly walked out. :)
• I need a camera because this blog would benefit greatly from some pictures.
• The "word verification" step you have to take to post a comment baffles me. They aren't even real words! What am I verifying?!
• I'm thankful that my friends are more consistent bloggers than I have turned out to be. Hopefully this summer I will be better.
• I love shoes from GAP. I also love buying shoes. It's a good combo.

Real news--in order of importance--from least to greatest: (I'll use bullets for this too. Why not?)

• I am ready for school to be over, but I am not ready for summer. I would like a nap first. I'm really excited about interning at First Baptist Atlanta with Maclane, Parker, and the rest of the wonderful staff this summer, but I do wish I had a small break. As things are, my last final is May 12th at 8am...and my first day in the office in Atlanta is May 13th. This means I have to pack in the midst of finals, and move to Atlanta on Tuesday afternoon(hopefully during a period of less traffic...).
• Speaking of school, I have so much going on in the next two weeks. Tomorrow: Abnormal Psychology presentation, Review of "Contemplative Thought and Practice" articles due, Lifespan Development "Mini-Exam #3" due... Thursday: field trip to a Labyrinth, Belmont Undergraduate Research Symposium (BURS) presentation at 8:45pm... Friday: YELLOW ROSE BALL! YAY!... Saturday: work, Sycamore's Band Banquet, Kevin's "Summer's Here" party... Sunday: church, AST Alum Inductions, AST Business Meeting... Monday: Life of Christ Presentation, last Monday at J's... May 5: last day of classes... May 6: Dead Day aka pack up my life day... May 7: Lifespan Development Final, Life of Christ Final Paper Due, last real day of work at J's... May 8: History and Systems of Psychology Final, Abnormal Psychology Final, BGM Fundraiser... May 9: Nick's Graduation Party, Alayna's Prom... May 10: Mother's Day, Last Sunday at Two Rivers, last day at J's... May 11th: finish packing up my life day... May 12th: Contemplative Thought and Practice Final, drive to Atlanta... GEEZ LOUISE!! In the midst of all of this, I should probably study...

This part is too important for a bullet...

Here I am. Convicted, yet again. This time by a sticker. haha. Yesterday, my mom had these Bible verse stickers for her 5 year old Sunday School class. Autumn and I, of course, put them on. The ones we chose said "I cannot stop talking about Jesus. Acts 4:20". My friend, Brian, made the comment that we shouldn't have to wear stickers for people to know that. How true! The actual verse says (starting in verse 13...) is:

"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. But seeing the man who was healed standing beside them, they had nothing to say in opposition. But when they had commanded them to leave the council, they conferred with one another, saying, "What shall we do with these men? For that a notable sign has been performed through them is evident to all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and we cannot deny it. But in order that it may be spread no further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more to anyone in this name." So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered them, "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard."

Why? Why? Why? are we so ignorant? We don't need stickers. We have voices and lives. What is wrong with us? What is wrong with me? I'm sorry, Lord, that I have somehow found a way to keep silent. Let it last no longer!

Love to all who read. :)

God knows what I need... You know what I need.

I have recently been highly convicted about the time that I spend on facebook. So, with it being Palm Sunday--the beginning of a week where My Savior literally gave up His life for me-- I'm giving up facebook for Him. For now, it's only for the week...kind of a nice cap on lent...but we will see where we are next Sunday night. I'm hoping, and have full faith, that this will be the beginning of a less time consuming friendship between me and facebook. I have actually been called the T-Rex of facebook before. No lie. I think it was because I showed up on this person's newsfeed all the time even though we weren't friends. Don't worry. We are now. haha. Instead of facebook, I'll be carrying my pocket sized Bible in my purse, and anytime I have the urge to check someone's profile or confirm my friend requests... I'm going to read David's power ballads and Paul's cool missionary stories instead. I still have facebook mobile, so it isn't gone completely, and I can get important messages. But that also means I'll only be practicing defensive facebooking this week. If you need me, call me. It's so much more personal than blue and white websites. (ps i like texting too) I'll still be on a computer because I have a paper due on Tuesday, and my teachers like to communicate through e-mail. I'll probably blog a bit too.

In other news, I have wonderful friends. They have literally come out of the woodworks since all this break-up crap happened. I am an extremely blessed girl (almost) from coast to coast. How exciting!

In still more news... I'm facing a potentially awkward situation. My sorority formal is coming up, and I have to decide if I'm taking a date by the 13th. That's a week from tomorrow for my dense readers... when I had a boyfriend who lived out of town, I was totally not concerned about going alone. Now that thought makes me want to throw up. Now that I am, once again, not dating anyone, I don't want to go alone. But who do I ask??? Can I take a good girl friend of mine?? Is that allowed? haha. Should I ask a good guy friend? I feel like it would be awkward, but I don't know. Should I just go alone?? Arggg. Dilemmas.

Oh well. It's Passion Week. There are more important things to think about between now and next Monday.

first of all, i cannot take credit for these words. they came from the lovely Kim Thomas at The Village Chapel's Tuesday night women's Bible Study... but, oh boy, did they ever speak to my soul!

this was the 3rd of a 4 week series leading up to Easter...the topic? Deserts: what it means, how we get there, what's the point, etc...Here is what my notes say:

Deserts

What keeps us in the desert? What are we missing? We're underfed...underthriving.

We have to get over ourselves and wade through the storms and sit in the deserts.

Some form of desert is mentioned over 300 times in Scripture...mostly referring to a Spiritual drought.

Deserts can be an incubator for growth. (David...Jesus...You and Me)

The Metaphor:

• uncultivated wilderness--lack of productivity; barren; no fruit; no growth
• waterless place--dry; nothing flowing; land of no resource
• solitary place--loneliness; no distractions; rest; quiet; boring

Deserts can be good, or they can be bad.

Does God always bring you out of the desert?

yes, but maybe not in this lifetime...

How do we get there?

1. carelessly wander (sometimes intentional due to rebellion or disobedience...needs repentance)
2. led by the enemy (Spiritual Warfare)
3. led by God (time of refinement)

Dangers:

1. Heat--we are tempted, tested, and tried
2. Dehydration--we are not Spiritual camels; it doesn't take much to become dehydrated; dehydration effects your mind too
3. falls, sprains, breaks due to rough terrain--making bad decisions or choices

Be hypervigilent...there's no safe place to step, just less dangerous places.

Benefits:

• Hope is renewed. Isaiah 35:1-4
• Newness. Isaiah 43:18-19 -- God is making us holy; drawing us closer to Him.
• Thirsty for the Lord. Psalm 42:1-4
• Resets us. Psalm 42:5-8 -- Things you don't need are lost. Things you do need are saved.
• Reminds us. Psalm 107:1-9

We only recognize these as blessings after we've been in the desert.

Deserts remind us of our want and need for God.

The story of the Bible begins in a garden, runs through the desert, and ends with a new heaven and a new earth -- the opposite of the desert.

One other thing Kim said that really resonated with me is that we are always asking God for something or waiting on Him. When we are in the desert, we ask for rain and water. When the floods come, we ask when the rain is going to stop... we are such whiners! I want to embrace the seasons of my life no matter what they look like. Hope you will too.

waking up is hard to do; sleep is impossible too...

I need to recharge. I need a break after my spring break because my break was filled with tears and difficult conversations and the ending of an almost year long relationship. I'm broken...

...but I won't be forever. I know the Lord can and will restore my heart. He is teaching me that through His word and His children. I have been reminded of how wonderful my friends are, and that there are still people who love me.

There are Psalms that I think of as the "power ballads" of the Bible, and that's where I've been recently...specifically Psalm 34. David wrote it when he was thanking the Lord for protecting him from Abimelech when he was running from Saul. David chose to take matters into his own hands and pretend to be insane so they wouldn't kill him, but God protected him anyway. This psalm is David's power ballad of thanksgiving:

I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,

keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;

the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all;

he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

So I'm recharging through the strength and redemption of my Father. I hope to be back on a normal sleeping schedule very soon and thrown fully into the swing of school things sooner than that. I'm not okay. But I know I will be because I know the Lord is not one to just leave me hanging...

RHS--Restless Heart Syndrome...

I've been convicted lately about a lot of things. The most prevolent in my mind is the fact that I don't talk nearly as much as I used to. For those of you who know me, that may have caused a laugh... I still talk just as much--maybe more--but what I'm saying is worth less. I used to put stock in my words. I used to give advice that didn't come from a textbook. It came from my heart. I miss those words and the deep friendships that blossomed from them. I'm in the process of attempting to reconnect with that part of myself and that conversational part of God. I get so busy that I talk at God instead of to God--so what then do I glean from the experience?? A tired mind and a restless heart. I want a renewed mind and a full, contented heart so that I can pour into those around me. Pray for me.

No vacancy. My brain is full.

I have 5 billion thoughts floating in my head right now. No lie. The past couple of days have been hard for multiple reasons that I'll spare you from. Today was better though.

• I went to my first class, and it only lasted for about 15 minutes. I love when that happens.
• I spent my surprise free time in the library. There I sent an email that was a little bit freeing. Don't worry. I sent it to a person that can handle it. I think. I hope.
• At 10, I had a wonderful conversation about life and boys and girl stuff and grad school and moms and all sorts of other things with my friend Heather. She's great, and we share a lot of common viewpoints. I think ours is a friendship that will last after Belmont. I wish we had hung out sooner, but God's timing is perfect. I've needed a good friend here for some time since my best friends live in different cities. So I'm very thankful for Heather.
• I went to my 11 o'clock class and I participated. What makes it better is that what I said made sense!
• Then I went to lunch with great people.
• I hadn't gotten my training schedule yet for this week, so I wasn't sure if I had to work tonight or not. Good news though. My next training day is Wednesday, so I have time to get my shirt clean (whoo-hoo!) and study for my day 4 test!
• I took clothes to the dry cleaners for the very first time today. I was a little unsure of how it all worked, but I'll probably be frequenting the cleaners pretty often. I'm already going back tomorrow to get my shirts. :)
• I've spent the rest of this evening looking at grad schools and an apartment I won't need for about another year. It's a little overwhelming to think about moving away from home. So I'm glad I have a little time.
• I also had some great, hilarious conversation with my little sister, Autumn, tonight. She's ridiculously funny. For example, she sent me a piece of flair on facebook tonight that said "JK, JK, L, M, N, O, P". That's the kind of humor she has. She's very clever.

Today has been a good day. I hope it ends well.

My boyfriend is a little bit sassy. Don't get confused. He's not the least bit feminine, but he has an attitude of his own. It keeps life interesting. It's almost been a full 6 months since he moved to Michigan. (Did I mention we have a long distance relationship??) He'll be finished with school in 6 months too. I miss him all the time. We've had some hard times lately. Both of us are at fault. Long distance is so hard, but I know if we can make it through this...we can make it through anything. I'll probably be moving to wherever he is after I graduate from Belmont in December. That seems far away, but it's also closer than I ever thought it would be. And it just keeps getting closer... It will be so great for us to live in the same city again though. So I have some time to prepare, and that is a blessing!

God is so good! I'll leave you with a verse tonight.

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day." Proverbs 4:18

I feel like my path is getting a little brighter...

Loves.