He is making all things new....

There's a Jon Foreman song that says "God knows what I need. You know what I need." And you know what? That is TRUE! (Actually all the lyrics to that song are perfect, so... listen to it.) It goes on to just repeat over and over "Your love is strong." Also true. I've said before that I hope I get to a point where I'm still amazed by how God shows His love for me, but not surprised. Because that's just who God is. That's what He does. He loves us, and He loves us well! Sometimes we may not understand how things work or why things happen, but God is sovereign, and that means He knows. And I don't have to. I can rest in Him and just breathe deep and trust that He knows. Because He does. DO YOU GET IT YET!? There are days that I don't. Honestly. I always should get it because He never fails to amaze me, but sometimes I get all human and I forget. How silly. Forgetting. That's why it's so important to hide God's word in our hearts and to fill our minds with things that draw us to God and not away from Him. Because when our circumstances overwhelm and we forget, we need to be reminded. God is faithful. He will bring His word to the front of your mind. But it has to be hidden in the back to be brought to the front.

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11

God is faithful to His word. He is NOT human. Praise Him! Gosh, I am so glad God is not human. He is trustworthy and always remains true to His character. He says if we seek His face, He will heal. And let me tell you, He is not lying. He can't lie anyway. It's not in His nature. (!!!) He isn't joking when He says He will hear us from Heaven and forgive us and heal us. And I am so thankful.

"if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

God is faithful to His promises. Some of you, if we've known each other for a while, know this about me already but... God has placed a desire in my heart to see renewal and refreshing in His church. If you want more details about this, just ask. But I have been so amazed lately by His confirmation and affirmation of the vision He placed in my heart years ago. I'm also amazed by how He brings the right people and experiences into my life at the perfect times. He tells me He will, and He does. I love that.

Right now, specifically, like right this very moment, New Ministers' Orientation is happening in the building. I've been fighting back tears all morning. Not because I'm a sap, because I'm not. (Some people might even call me cynical...but I don't cry much.) No. The tears are here because of God's faithfulness. It is such a blessing to see people who are excited about the work God is doing here. People of all walks of life...full time and part time pastors...pastors who are still learning how to speak English...pastors from the mountains and pastors from the depths of the city. All here together to learn how to be more effective in reaching people for Jesus. That is so exciting! If you know me at all, you know I love orientation of all shapes and forms. I love the enthusiasm and excitement that surrounds the "new". My prayer for these pastors is that it would stay. That they would not be discouraged by people, but would be renewed by the Spirit. And my prayer for pastors who have been working at it for a long, long time is that they, too, would be renewed by the Spirit. That they would remember why they surrendered their lives to God and ministry in the first place. That they would remember the light that shines in a person's eyes when they hear about Jesus for the first time and decide to trust Him!

God is at work. Here and everywhere. I just want to be focused on being a part of His plan. I don't want to get distracted and forget. I want to be here. Present. In the middle of the excitement of His work!

"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. 

For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told." Habakkuk 1:5

Bro? Brothers? ...Brethren?

This week has been a rough one for the littlest sister. I won't go into details here, but she's been sad and her heart has been hurting. She's my sister. We're "cut from the same cloth"..."kindred spirits". When she hurts, I hurt. Physically and emotionally. I don't know if that's normal or unusual because I've never known anything else. I have 3 sisters, and we all not only love each other, but we like each other too. We enjoy spending time together. Whenever I go home, I always see a sister. I don't always see my friends, but I always see at least one sister. That's what we do. The oldest is coming through Atlanta on Thursday, so we're going to get coffee. That's what we do too. Coffee. It's our thing. Sister-friendships and coffee.

Anyway... thinking about how my sister's pain causes me pain and how seeing any of them happy makes me happy got me thinking about another family I'm in...the family of God. I taught in Sunday School this week, and our lesson was about how nothing can take us out of the family of God once we're in. It's the same type of bond that we share with our physical families. Just like nothing I do can change my DNA and make me no longer related to my biological family, nothing I do can change my status in the family of God. Once you accept His gift of salvation, you're in forever.

Paul writes to the Romans about how we, as Christians, should act...

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. 

Never be wise in your own sight. 

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 

Romans 12:9-18 

All those things in italics remind me of my relationship with my sisters. Or how it should be. That's how our relationships with ALL other Christians should be. With ALL PEOPLE even. The verse that confirms this for me is 18... "so far as it depends on you...". So many times I allow my self to get in the way and I don't let the love of God shine through me. So many times I base my actions and reactions on the actions of others. That's really not smart. Especially if that other person is not a Christian. 

I grew up fighting with my sisters. I still fight with my sisters. But if any of you decided to fight with my sisters, you'd have to go through me. Back in May, I wrote a blog about how stupid it is for us (Christians) to fight with each other when we're really on the same side of the battle. Ephesians tells us our battles aren't against flesh and blood anyway. And Exodus tells us that the Lord will fight for us, so we just have to be still (and not try to fight for ourselves). But here we are...fighting amongst ourselves instead of sticking up for each other like siblings. We don't defend each other against our enemy. We don't go to the Lord in prayer on behalf of each other nearly enough. We don't try to outdo each other in showing honor. We try to outdo each other in popularity and recognition and accolades. (Pharisees, anyone?) If possible, as far as it depends on us, we look our for ourselves. If our needs are met and everything we want is happening, then we'll be perfectly peacable with each other. If not, then the gloves come off and Lord help whoever is in our way. Because obviously our personal agenda is much more important than God's agenda, right? No. Not according to Paul in Romans 12. Paul says we're supposed to bless those who persecute us. What do you think that means we should do for those who love us? Good news. Read it again. He tells us. Thanks, Paul! 

Let me assure you that I do not get this right. Especially Even with my biological siblings. But I'm trying. Ask me about it. I'm trying to be more like Jesus. I want to be more like Jesus. And it sure is a process! Hold me accountable. And let's try to live like Paul tells us to. 

Loves.

Brakes.

Do you ever feel like your life is moving a lot faster than you'd like? Kind of the same feeling you got as a kid when you're riding your bike or a skateboard or a sled down a hill and you suddenly realize you're no longer in control? You have two choices: bail out or ride it out. Both carry their own dangers and consequences and uncertainties. If you bail, you might miss the best part, and who knows what you'll hit when you try to stop. If you ride it out you could end up hurting, or you could coast to a gentle stop. There's risk in both bailing and sticking with it. And whichever you end up choosing, you never know what would've happened if you had gone with the other option.

Life is a lot like that sometimes. This summer, someone asked me where I was from, and I just looked at them because I could not think of the right answer. My instinct was to say "Nashville", but I haven't lived there in a year and a half. So even though it's where I'm ORIGINALLY from, it's not the answer anymore. Even though I moved away a while ago, not living there is still an adjustment. Every. Day.

There are times that I think life would be easier if I just moved back. And it probably would. But when I chose to follow Jesus, I gave up on having an easy life. Following Jesus means that I have to be uncomfortable sometimes. So I find my comfort in Him. It means I have to be uncertain sometimes. So I find truth and certainty in Him. It means I have to be exhausted and spent sometimes. So I find rest in Him. If I moved back to Nashville, between me and the people who love me there, we could figure out what the whole rest of my life would look like. I'm sure it would be very sweet and easy. However, I don't want that life. I want the life that God has designed for me. I don't have a clue what that looks like past today, but I'm sticking it out and hanging on. I want to see where this one goes. I bail out of scary things a lot. But I'm not doing it this time. I know without a doubt that the Lord's plans for me are way, way, way better than anything I could ever plan for myself.

This morning Christine Caine tweeted this:

"To avoid burnout, 

ensure you are doing what God wants you to do, 

not what everyone else wants you to do."

So that's what I want. What God wants. Not what I want for me. Not what you want for me. I want what God has. The End.

Loves.

Piano Lessons?

Dear Parents,
When your 7 year old cries and begs you to let them quit piano lessons, say no. They will regret it when they're 25.
Sincerely,
A 25 year old who regrets quitting piano lessons at age 7


Lots of thoughts today. Most of them are disconnected from the others. It's Thursday, and some weeks Thursday is the best. This week, Thursday is weird. All day long, strange things have been happening.
Here are some examples:

1. This morning, I sat still in traffic for at least 20 minutes. When I finally reached the reason for sitting still, I found 3 police cars and one "civilian" car with no hubcap. ...really? 
2. When I was getting off the interstate, a policeman walked across the road in front of me and I almost had to come to a complete stop to let him cross. There were no cars behind me. He couldn't just wait? 
3. Yesterday, I spilled coffee down my dress like a normal person. Today, I spilled coffee up my nose. Yes. This is real life.
4. My office building smells like pizza and a hot glue gun, but my desk smells like perfume...which I did not wear today.
5. Most of what I've touched today I have either dropped or knocked over.                                                 Exhibit A (at least it was empty): 

 

So that's what my Thursday has looked like so far. I like rockin' Thursdays more. On a brighter note, I did learn something new this morning, and everyone I've talked to on the phone has been pleasant! Also, I haven't sneezed yet. My coworker and I consider the day a success if we can make it to 2pm or later without sneezing. Well folks, it's 2:15, and I'm sneeze free. So far. Success.

On an even brighter note, one of the blogs I read really resonated with me today. Katy Brooks writes about Jesus and fitness and pretty things and health, and I like her. You can find her blog here. The post I'm referring to was actually from last night. Katy writes about how being concerned with your body image is really living a life of bondage, and I needed to read it. Maybe you do too. Even if you're a boy. It might help you (boys) get a better handle on how we (girls) think sometimes. Or don't read it. Totally your call.
Anyway, I just think Katy is spot on. We do live a life of bondage even though Jesus took our punishment and has set us free. We are so dumb!

So my prayer for you today is that your Thursday is beneficial even if it's weird like mine. I hope it's taught you something or helped you grow or allowed you to invest in someone else. My prayer for you AND me is that we would live in our freedom and not be stuck in the bondage of our humanity. Praise God for freedom!

Loves.

what growing up SHOULD be like

I think I'm supposed to be an adult. I'm 25. I moved away from my family and friends. I've had a big girl job for a year. "Adult" makes normal sense, right? I don't feel so adult though. I feel like I'm growing into and out of strange things. So I decided to make a list. :)

Things I'm growing into:

1. Tucking my shirt in
2. Wearing black & brown together
3. Flossing consistently
4. Budgets
5. Self-discipline
6. Multivitamins (don't worry. they're still gummies...)
7. Wearing cardigans almost every day

Things I'm growing out of:

1. Eating sweets
2. Giggling
3. Passive Aggressiveness
4. Wearing makeup every day
5. Over-accessorizing (thank you, Jesus, for this one)

Don't get me wrong. I don't think these things are bad. I just wish they were a little more exciting. I've been thinking a lot lately about things I wish I was growing out of. So I made a list of those things too.

Things I would grow out of if the world were perfect:

1. Getting mosquito bites
2. Shaving
3. Badly fitting jeans
4. Blisters
5. Spam Emails
6. Bad music
7. Indecisiveness
8. Acne
9. Allergies (particularly sneezes)
10. Bitter people
11. Fear
12. Inhibitions
13. Dying phone batteries
14. Fake people
15. Budgets (...i just really hate them.)
16. Losing my tan

I'm sure I could think of more things I'd like to grow out of, but I'll leave it there for now. I feel like it's a good sampling. And the world is not perfect, so I'm still forced to deal with these things. If you look at the big picture, they're not so bad. I'm blessed. And sometimes spam emails make me laugh.

Loves.

Once upon a time in Tennessee...

I should've written about this yesterday, but I'm still processing.

I went to Tennessee last weekend for a wedding. This was wedding 4 of 8 for the year (April 2012-Feb 2013). I introduced Kelly and Drew at the Freshman Festival at Belmont 5 years ago, and they got married on Saturday. It was a beautiful evening filled with people that I love, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

I drove up Friday evening after work, and met my mom and sister at Fido (one of the best coffee shops in the world) in the middle of a monsoon. On our way home, we dropped my car off at the shop. This was planned. My car had been putting off a gasoline smell for the last two weeks or so, but my gas mileage didn't change, and there was never any other evidence of a gas leak, so I put off getting it checked out until I got to Nashville.
The wedding was Saturday night, so I was thinking my car would be fixed sometime Saturday morning, and I'd be good to go. My mechanic called me around 11 on Saturday (they close at noon), and said I wouldn't be able to get my car back until Monday. They had found the gas leak, but couldn't find what was causing it without taking the gas tank out of my car, and they couldn't do that until Monday. This is someone I trust, and I knew it was serious when he said "I can't let you drive it. Someone could flick a cigarette out their window, and you'd be a fireball." So I left it. I drove my mom's car to the wedding and rode with her to church the next morning. No problems. At lunch we discussed my options for returning to Georgia. 1. I could wait until Monday and drive my car back. 2. I could drive mom's car back since she's coming down tomorrow anyway. We decided that it would be best for me to go ahead and come back on Sunday evening so I wouldn't have to miss work. Mom would just pick up my car when it was ready and drive it down this weekend so we could trade. This was a good plan until we left the restaurant. We made it about 5 feet before realizing we had a flat tire and needed to stop. I looked at her and said "Looks like I'm staying until tomorrow!" I made all the necessary contacts and we called AAA to come take care of us. We made it home, and I was able to spend some time Sunday night with more of my family that I would've missed had I gone back to Georgia that day. I'm extremely grateful for that.
Monday morning came. Autumn headed to Giles Country High School to teach color guard at their band camp, and mom headed to work--leaving me at my grandparents' house with no car. I was just waiting. That's been the recurring theme of my life lately. Maybe you've picked up on it in earlier posts. I'm in a waiting phase spiritually, but on Monday, I was waiting in every way. I found out Monday afternoon around 3:30 that the gas leak in my car was a result of a broken fuel pump. Those things are made of plastic, and part of mine was cracked. I drive a Saturn. No one makes Saturns anymore. None of the vendors my mechanic uses had the part that my car needed. He had to call GM dealerships to find the right one, and he ended up finding a dealer who had one model like the one we needed. He couldn't get it to the shop until Tuesday morning. Mom's tires were coming in and being changed on Tuesday morning also. So I was stranded in Nashville for another night. I called my sister in New York because we understand each others' struggles. We talked for a really long time, and she reminded me that I had JUST blogged about how much I missed my grandparents' house. And that's where I was stranded. I should be happy in spite of the circumstances! She also reminded me that this world is not our home, and nothing will ever be perfect until we get to our real home--Heaven. If it wasn't the fuel pump on my car and the tire on Mom's car, it would be something else. Monday night, I was able to spend some time with just my mom. We haven't really done that in years. We made dinner and watched "Pride and Prejudice" and ate ice cream. It was great.
Tuesday morning, I got up and ran in hell. Seriously. The heat index was 101 and the humidity was at 70%. But I was grateful to get to run there again. It's my favorite place. I packed up my stuff and showered and went with my parents to pick up my car. It was really expensive, but through the generosity of my sister and some strategic planning from me and mom, we made it happen. Oh! And, for the first time in about 4 years, I drove between Nashville and Atlanta in gorgeous weather the whole way!

I'm so thankful for my family and friends and good memories and for my car. I try to not take anything for granted because I know that the Cross was enough. I don't deserve salvation, but God gave it to me anyway. Anything above and beyond that is blessing, and I want to be appropriately thankful for everything the Lord gives. This past weekend in Tennessee was a growing and learning experience for me. I feel different being back. It's always nice to gain a little perspective. I'll leave you with snippets of the weekend in picture form.

Love.

 Clouds on the way to Nashy

 Fido Fun

With my beautiful MARRIED friends! (and mark...)

 The Fellowship at Two Rivers

 Sunday Highlights

My favorite place

Heat.

 Driving home

"Can't count the barns I've passed...painted red, white and black..."

a something, a storm, and an oversized fish

So there's this something in my life. Something I should've given to God a while ago. But I've been holding on to it. I think I've been scared that if I give it to God, He might take it. Really good logic, huh? Promise I'm an adult. I'm not going to tell you what it is because in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter, does it? We've all got one of those somethings. Most of the time we can trace our somethings back to pride. Why won't I just let it go? Why am I still holding on? Honestly, it's because I think I can handle it better than God can. Guess what. I'm wrong. Actually, I'm REALLY wrong. I can't handle anything better than God can. HE MADE ME. I don't get to call the shots.

Have you ever made anything? Cookies? Playdoh creations? LEGO buildings? A book? A song? A journal entry? When you are the maker of something, you have control. I can leave something out of a recipe or add to it. It's up to me. Because I'm in charge. Here's the thing about God though... Yes, He is in charge. Yes, He made us. BUT He also gave us the ability to think and choose for ourselves. What if your LEGOs could think for themselves? If you had that one piece that kept jumping off of your building because it just didn't want to be there? Not only would that be strange and kind of scary, it would also be frustrating. If that happened to me, my first instinct would be to just pick up that stubborn piece and fling it across the room (where I would undoubtedly find it with my foot in the dark at a later time). If it doesn't want to be used, then fine. I won't use it.

I'm impatient.

God isn't.

HOORAY! Good news for us! He loves us so much that He just keeps trying. He doesn't give up and fling us across the room. Sometimes we miss out on things and He does use other pieces/people to accomplish His will, but He never ever gives up. He wants us.

Look at Jonah.
God told Jonah to go to Nineveh. He wasn't vague. He said "Arise, go to Nineveh..." (Jonah 1:2). Plain and simple. What does Jonah do? Verse 3: "But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord..." Tarshish isn't Nineveh. Jonah heard the voice of the Lord, but he blatantly disobeyed and did something else. But God was persistent. (haha. understatement?) The ship Jonah got on to go to Tarshish faced a massive storm. The crew figured out Jonah was running from God and causing the storm. Jonah knew it too, so he had the crew throw him overboard. Once Jonah was in the water, the storm stopped. This caused the other men on the ship to fear Jonah's God, and they made sacrifices and vows to the Lord. God used Jonah's stubbornness to draw people to Himself. I love that. If you don't know the rest of the story, don't worry. Jonah didn't drown. He was swallowed by a fish that the Lord appointed. :) Verse 17: "And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights." While Jonah was inside the fish, he gave up and prayed. He gave up his pride and stubbornness and decided to do what the Lord had originally said. "And the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah out upon the dry land." (Jonah 2:10) Chapter 3 starts out like this: "Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time, saying, "Arise, go to Nineveh..." Verse 3 says: "So Jonah arose and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord." Looks like Jonah learned his lesson. Jonah didn't get everything right after that. He still struggled. But he went to Nineveh and did what the Lord told him to do there. And the people in Nineveh repented. Mission accomplished. The book of Jonah could have been 2 chapters long instead of 4 if Jonah had just listened in the first place. But this way, we have a great story of God's power and persistence. God never gave up on Jonah. Jonah ran away from Him. God could've said "Okay. I'll use someone else." But He didn't. He wanted to use Jonah to reach Nineveh, and He wanted to use Nineveh to reach Jonah. So He used a storm and a very large fish to get Jonah's attention.

What is God telling you to do today? Where's your Nineveh? Maybe it's not a physical place. Maybe it's just a place of deeper intimacy with God. No matter how close we are to the Lord, we can always get closer. That's God's desire. I pray that it is mine too. Maybe you're in the middle of the storm or in the middle of the fish. Either way, don't you think it's time to let go of our pride and just do what God says? I do.

I'm laying down my something. I want to trust God with it because I know that He can do greater things with it than I ever could. I don't want my mediocre plans. I want what God has for me. He made me. He knows what's best. I don't want to pick my something back up again. I need your help. If you see me or talk to me, just say "Don't pick it up." "Leave it." "Let God handle it." Anything like that will work. And pray for me? Please. I cannot do this alone. I need the strength of Jesus and community to help me leave it alone. Will you help me?

Today at (in)courage, one of the writers quoted a song. She was talking about something completely different and focused on one line, but a different line resonated with me. Maybe you need one of these lines too.

Here are the lyrics:

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You’ve won my heart
Yes You’ve won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

("At the Foot of the Cross", Tammy Trent)