Day 29: "Just Be Held"

I wear a ring almost every day that says "be still". It's scrolled out with the metal of the ring, and the underside is inscribed with Psalm 46:10..."be still and know that I am God." That's an easy verse to give to someone else who is hurting, but when we're the ones in pain, it's the hardest thing to do. There has been a lot of hurt in the lives of people I love here lately, and there's nothing I can do about it. Other people in my life are having happy times of celebration, and sometimes it's hard to balance all of it. The truth is, we can't do any of it on our own. We can't know real joy and happiness outside of Jesus. We can't make it through the pain without Him either. Here on earth, Jesus knew both happy times and sorrow. He was celebrated in Jerusalem one day, and a few days later some of those same people were calling for His death. Even though it was part of God's plan for Him to die, it still probably hurt to hear people passionately hate Him so openly. He had friends betray Him. He felt the sorrow of losing friends and loved ones. He also knew the joy of restoring sight to the blind, mobility to the crippled, purity to the lepers, and life to the dead. Jesus experienced every emotion that we face, but He's often the last place we turn when we are facing it ourselves. We try so hard when we really just need to rest. It may not all make sense here, but He knows. We may face unspeakable horrors, but He can still redeem it. Even if we feel like there's no way God can still love us, use us, forgive us...He still can and He still does. He never stops. He never gives up. He never leaves.

"Just Be Held"

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who wont let go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Day 5: "Come Alive (Dry Bones)"

Lauren Daigle sings a song called "Come Alive (Dry Bones)" and it is just magical. The lyrics are honest and real. So many times we hear people talking about the obvious blessings of God with big, cheesy grins on their face. We forget that there is a battle raging all around us. Dark vs. Light. We aren't always aware of the battle, but it's happening. One of my favorite verses is Exodus 14:14. "The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still." We don't realize the battle is going on, but we feel the effects of it in our lives. We feel trapped or weighted down. Anything but free. But God tells us that He will fight for us and we can just be still. In fact, I'm sure he prefers us being still and waiting for His direction. I don't believe God gets mad when we take off on our own again, but I do believe it makes Him sad. Just like the prodigal son and his father, God misses us when we are not close by. When we're not listening and waiting eagerly for His next Word. But. When we do come back, He doesn't scold us or give us the cold shoulder. He rejoices and celebrates that His child is home!

"Come Alive" references over and over the relentless love of God. His heart is for rescue. For redemption. For reconciliation. We waste so much time staying away from Him because of pride or shame or guilt or fear, and the whole time we're away, He's expectantly awaiting our return. I love that.

Here are the words:

Through the eyes of men it seems
There's so much we have lost
As we look down the road
Where all the prodigals have walked
One by one
The enemy has whispered lies
And led them off as slaves

But we know that you are God
Yours is the victory
We know there is more to come
That we may not yet see
So with the faith you've given us
We'll step into the valley unafraid, yeah

As we call out to dry bones
Come alive, come alive
We call out to dead hearts
Come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes
Let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones, come alive

God of endless mercy
God of unrelenting love
Rescue every daughter
Bring us back the wayward son
And By your spirit breathe upon them
Show the world that you alone can save
You alone can save

As we call out to dry bones
Come alive, come alive
We call out to dead hearts
Come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes
Let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones come alive

So breathe, oh breath of God
Now breathe, oh breath of God
Breathe, oh breath of God
Now breathe

Breathe, oh breath of God
Now breathe, oh breath of God
Breathe, oh breath of God, now breathe

As we call out to dry bones
Come alive, come alive
We call out to dead hearts
Come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes
Let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones come alive, yeah
We call out to dry bones, come alive

Oh come alive

My Lent Anthem

Today, The Nester wrote about choosing anthems in your life. I've already been thinking that I felt like I had a theme song for Lent this year, and her post confirmed my need for an anthem to accompany this time in my life. I tweeted last week about my song being "I Shall Not Want" by Audrey Assad. Here are the lyrics:

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

When you fill your body or your mind with bad stuff or even mediocre stuff, you start to crave bad or mediocre stuff. (Examples: sugar, salt, video games, tabloid magazines) In the same way, when you fill your body or mind with good things, you start to crave good things. (Examples: fresh, healthy food, God's Word, space to rest)

If your body is used to junk food, when you try to transition to healthy food, it's sometimes unpleasant. But after you've eaten healthy food for a period of time and you eat something crappy, your body will let you know that it does not appreciate crappy food. You'll start to notice that you feel better and have more energy and feel better equipped to go through the day when you have properly fueled your body with healthy food. You'll notice that the fast food or junk food you eat makes you feel lethargic or heavy or just bad.

Our minds and hearts work a little differently. When you've filled your mind and your heart with unworthy things, making the switch to good and holy things can be difficult. It takes discipline and self-control just like changing your diet. After you've been filling your mind and heart with good things, that one gossipy conversation can make you feel physically ill sometimes. But most of the time, our attitudes serve as the indicator that we haven't been watching what we "eat" as closely as we should. When we fill our minds and hearts with God and His Word, our outlook on life is filled with hope and joy despite our circumstances. We can have a terrible day or a rough week or month or year, and we can still trust that God is working all things together for our good regardless of how we feel. But if we have been neglecting God's Word and His voice, we will get negative. And snarky. And jealous. And prideful. And consumed with our selves and how we compare to everyone around us. Our outlook on life becomes one filled with distrust, sadness, and a sense that something is missing. That's because something IS missing. We push God out of our everydays and then wonder why we feel like we're missing something in our lives. Only when we focus on Him first will we see the world and ourselves as He sees. Just like the song says, when we taste His goodness, we won't want anything else.

Making God a part of your everyday life is not going to mean nothing bad or unpleasant ever happens to you. Bad things will still happen because we live in a corrupt and fallen world that NEEDS its Savior more than anything else. Life is still hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's bad.

What I've decided to gain for Lent this year

This year, I'm not really giving up anything. I'm gaining something instead. Hopefully, I'll be gaining lots of somethings (unless it's pounds, then, no thank you). I am going to strive to quit something between now and Easter.

Typically, every night before I go to sleep, I'll get ready for bed, text my boyfriend "Goodnight", and then get in the bed and actually get ready to go to sleep. At this point, most people would turn out lamps or turn off phones, get comfortable and shut their eyes. I, however, take this opportunity to make sure I haven't missed anything in the world by scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, using up all 5 lives on Candy Crush, and checking the weather for the next day. Then, I'll do that again. And then see if I can waste the 18 minutes and 35 seconds until another Candy Crush life becomes available.

None of those things are necessarily bad in and of themselves. However, just like coffee last year, it's what those things symbolize together that I need to stop. What I'm doing when I go through all of those things every night is avoiding quiet, rest, and sleep. Why? I don't know. But maybe consciously making an effort to encounter those things will help me figure it out.

I'm going to be intentional about it and after I say goodnight to my people, I'm putting my phone out of reach. This will also hopefully help me in the mornings because I'll have to get up to turn my alarm off. I have a tendency to repeat my nightly phone rituals in the morning which makes me rush around to get ready and get to work even if I've prepared the night before.

I have some dumb habits. I want to take better care of myself and I want to receive what God has for me. If I never have any moments of quiet or rest, how will I hear from Him? So this year, to prepare my mind and my heart for Easter, I'm going to choose quiet. I'm going to choose rest. I'm going to choose sleep over chaos and distraction.

Day 28: Recovery

They say you should take one day off for every mile you run in a race...unless you're continuing your training for something else. Just like most other times it's used, I can't put a face or name to "they". I know some people cannot take that much time off. They get antsy and have pent up energy that they need to get rid of somehow, so they don't take 13 days off after a half or 26 after a full marathon. I think that's okay sometimes. You have to read your body to know what you need. It's not going to be the same for every person. It shouldn't be. Your training isn't exactly the same as someone else's. Even if you train together and do the same exact things, your body is yours and their body is theirs and it's different. Some people (me) have a hard time starting again after 13 days off. Especially if it's winter. I've told you before that I'm VERY good at talking myself out of things.

We need rest and recovery after other events in our lives too--not just races, not just exercise, not just training. Sometimes we need to recover from life. My mom and sister visited over the weekend, and we went full speed ahead the entire time they were here. And it's already Tuesday and I'm still exhausted! That's right. It's not Monday. I forgot to post yesterday on the actual 28th because I was nearly asleep for most of the day. :) Today is better, so you'll hopefully get two posts and I'll hopefully get a run in. We shall see, my friends. We shall see.

Righteous.

Good day! (do you ever feel like we've lost some of the beauty of our language? i do...)

I've been wrestling with something over the past week or so. I think I'm ready to put words to it. Bear with me.

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you;

 he will never permit the righteous to be moved."

Psalm 55:22

Okay. First part of this verse...good. "Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you..." Got it. Good. GREAT, even. The Lord will sustain me. Lots of people stop there when referencing this verse. But there's more to it.
Part 2: "...he will never permit the righteous to be moved." Hmmm. Here's where my struggle is. It's great that God won't let the righteous be moved, but...am I righteous? I mean, I'm a good person. I don't do bad things, right? But that doesn't make me righteous. And. Here's the bigger deal. I mess up. A lot. I definitely do not make the righteous choice every time. So what does that mean? Does that mean the Lord will permit me to be moved unless I start acting righteous all the time? What does "being moved" entail? Is it dangerous? Is it painful? Where am I going? Who's doing this moving? Here's the thing. It doesn't matter. I don't have to worry about what happens to those who are not righteous because, through Christ, I have been given the righteousness of God.

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, 

so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 

2 Corinthians 5:21

I don't have to worry because Jesus IS righteousness. And because He lives in me, my sin is covered. When the Father looks at me, He sees Jesus. So I can rest in Him. I can cast my burden on the Lord and be sustained by Him and trust that He will not permit me to be moved. I can stand steadfast in Him. So I just have to cast my burdens.

The word "cast" means "to throw or hurl; fling". Wow. The psalmist doesn't say "set your burdens gently at the Lord's feet"...he says "cast". THROW your burdens on the Lord. He is ready. He will sustain you. Get those burdens away from you as fast as you can. Don't stand there holding on to something that hurts you, something that keeps you from doing what God has called you to do...THROW YOUR BURDENS on the Lord. Throw them. Hot potato. Get rid of em. And praise God we have the righteousness of Christ!



So let's work on getting rid of our burdens as fast as we can and not picking them back up again. (i'm guilty of that too...I'm like the Indian giver of burdens to the Lord...). I'll be praying for you, and hope you'll be praying for me too. Let's throw our burdens to the ready and waiting Savior and rest in His righteousness.

This is where the healing begins.

Raise your hand if you're an introvert!!! Not likely, huh? Or, if you're anything like me, you're definitely not going first.

Hello. My name is Alicia. And I am an introvert. Don't get me wrong. I love people. Love. After Jesus, I love people best. That's how my degree ended up too: Religion Major. Psychology Minor. Jesus Major. People Minor. I love people, and I love serving people. But sometimes I just need time. Quiet. Peace. Rest. God made me in such a way that I need to retreat to refuel. Some people need to be with others and draw strength from being part of a crowd. I draw strength from getting by myself somewhere and breathing deep the presence of the Creator.
Isn't it amazing how God just knows? He gets it. He gets me. When it feels like everyone else is giving me funny looks and saying, "...you really went by yourself?" God is looking at me and smiling because He understands. And not just because Jesus retreated to pray by himself...but because God MADE me. He knows how I work, and He loves it. All of it.

So. In true God fashion, He surprised me this week. Last weekend was extra taxing, and I was spent. Monday night, I went home from work, changed clothes, and walked out the door with no destination in mind. About a mile down the road, I had my mind set on Starbucks, but half-way there, I turned into the parking lot of a local coffee shop instead. I stayed there for an hour and a half and then went on to Starbucks. All in all, I had about 3 hours of focused alone time on Monday. It was refreshing, but I was still dealing with distractions and a million thoughts flying through my head.
On Tuesday, I headed out to one of our conference centers to do some work with their staff. I was going to a place I'd never been to work with people I'd never met. I was --guess what-- anxious. But God is good, y'all. He is so good. I ended up at the most beautiful place I'd ever been in Georgia with the nicest people and some much needed alone time. I won't go into too much wordy detail, but I will let my pictures do the talking.
Just remember, when you feel discouraged or alone or worn plum out, God knows. He knows you. When no one else understands, He gets it. Because He made you.

["McDonalds sunglasses"]

Grace and Peace.