Monday, October 26, 2015

Day 25: "Hard to Get"

I was in Nashville this weekend for a wedding, but I also got to hear my uncle preach at the church where he is now the pastor. It is the church where my grandparents were married, where my grandfather got saved, answered the call to preach and was ordained, and where my grandparents are buried. Last month, my aunt and uncle moved from Arkansas so he could be the newest pastor of that church. It's a legacy church. A family church. It is growing so much that they are about to build a new building. I think my grandparents would be so thrilled if they could see it today. They would also be so proud of my uncle. He has had a very full two months there so far, and this weekend was no exception. Late on Saturday night, a teenage boy was killed in a car accident. His family goes to my uncle's church. My uncle was with the family for most of the night after the accident, and then he still preached in the Sunday morning service. His sermon was timely and appropriate and filled with wisdom that can only come from God. But before he preached, he took his suit jacket off and put on his guitar and sang this song. It is a song that was written by Rich Mullins but was never properly recorded by him because he died before he could make his next album. Rich Mullins was writing songs that he felt gave a glimpse of the life of Jesus. This particular song is about being heartbroken, lonely, uncertain, and having questions that we may never know the answers to. It is an honest song that paints a vivid picture of how we feel when we don't understand what is happening in our lives and it feels like God is far away. It was a very appropriate song for the situation and for the church family this weekend, but it can also apply to many other situations in life. There are things about God that we will never understand in our human, sinful minds. There are many of those things that we don't need to understand, and that is a hard thing to get our minds around. We want to know what's going on. We don't want to have questions. We don't want to only see the next step. We want to know how the whole process is going to go and what we're going to look like and feel like and be like at the end. But sometimes we don't get to know those things. We just get to know God. And that is enough. He is enough.

"Hard to Get"

You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did You forget about us after You had flown away
Well I memorized every word You said

Still I'm so scared I'm holding my breath
While You're up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I figured this somehow
All I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can't see what's ahead
And we can not get free of what we've left behind
I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All the words of shame and doubt blame and regret

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here
Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led
And so You've been here all along I guess
It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

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