You know how sometimes you can be with someone that knows you so well that you feel like you can just relax and be yourself and they will still love you? I hope you do know that feeling. You feel that way because you have experience with these people. They have likely lived through good times and bad times with you. They have probably seen you at your best and even at your worst, and yet! they are still right there with you! They haven't given up on you, and you haven't given up on them. Sometimes friendship isn't easy. Sometimes, you're separated from your friends my miles, hours, time zones, or state lines. Sometimes, you're in different life stages where it makes sense for you to have other friends in addition to your lifelong friends. Sometimes the roles of your lifelong friends change. That doesn't lessen their significance. It actually kind of makes them more valuable, if that's even possible.
I have some lifelong friends. I hope you do too. I'm missing my girls particularly today. No reason that I can nail down, other than it's Wednesday and I miss my lifers. These girls have played huge roles in my life already. For example, when I ran the half last November, 2 of my friends came to support me and actually ran parts of the race with me. So really my best friends have literally joined me in the race. Literally and figuratively. I am so blessed and I hope my lifers know they're missed and loved dearly. I hope you have friends like this too. We were not made to go through life alone. On the first day of this year, the post at (in)courage included this quote: "Alone is not an option." I wrote it on a post-it, stuck it on the edge of my computer screen, and I see it every day. Even when I feel like I am or want to be alone, I see that quote and I'm reminded that I was made to be in relationships with other people. Jesus was, wasn't He? The times when I feel like I want to isolate myself from the rest of the world are the times that I probably need people the most. I'm so thankful that God orchestrates my life and that I am not in charge. I'm so thankful that God brought my people into my life at the perfect times and He continues to intertwine their lives with mine. If it were up to me, I'd screw it up. But He is perfect and His timing is perfect and the relationships He builds are perfect. I am so glad I get to enjoy the ones He's brought into my life.
Showing posts with label (in)courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label (in)courage. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Choosing the calm.
I procrastinate. Or maybe it just takes me longer to process things and formulate opinions and ideas. In the Color Guard world, there are two kinds of learners: microwaves and crock pots. Stay with me. A microwave learner picks something up immediately. They're quick. Like a microwave. A crock pot learner takes more time for the concept to sink in. Sometimes you have to wait a full day or even overnight, but once they've got it--it sticks. They take more time. Like a crock pot. Both ways produce the desired outcome. Neither is wrong. They're just different. I said all that to say... I think I'm a crock pot when it comes to ideas. I wanted to write about this yesterday, but I either had too much on my mind or hadn't landed on a central topic yet and I just didn't. So here I am today. Maybe it's a testament to being able to choose the calm that I'm writing this today. We'll see.
This year, I gave up coffee for Lent. (If you don't know what Lent is, you can read more about it here.) I'm not Catholic or Lutheran or Anglican. I'm Baptist. So it may seem odd to you that I participate in Lent, but it's something I started observing as a religion student at Belmont, and it helps me get my heart and mind focused and ready for Easter every year, so I've kept it up.
If you know anything about me at all, you probably know that coffee is very near and dear to my heart. I've had some wonderful friends over the years that have introduced me to quaint coffee shops and styles of brewing coffee and how espresso is actually a lot like wine in that you can taste different hints of flavors depending on the origin of the coffee beans or how it's processed. Coffee fascinates me, and I love it dearly. I didn't give up coffee for Lent to punish myself. I gave up coffee for Lent because of what coffee represented to me. Coffee had become an escape - a quick fix - an addiction. I had at least one cup every morning, but most of the time I'd have another cup or two in the afternoon or evening. I stopped drinking soft drinks almost three years ago, so coffee has been my main source of caffeine.
I am the proud owner of a Starbucks Rewards Card that has my name and "Member since 2011" stamped on the front of its shiny gold surface. I've used it so often that it's starting to show the effects of being swiped through a card reader over and over and over--sometimes multiple times a day. Not only was I essentially using coffee like a drug, I was also being irresponsible with my money by spending so much of it on coffee every month. Did you know that you can reload your Starbucks card online or from an app on your smart phone? You can. It's very easy. Too easy. After $25 here and $10 there, I was just drinking my paychecks away. If you read that sentence alone, you'd think I was talking about alcohol. Nope. Still coffee. Are you starting to see the problem I had? Kind of ridiculous. IT'S JUST COFFEE. I told myself that I didn't need it. I could live without it. But many afternoons, I'd find myself in the drive-thru on the way home from work. I'm not in college anymore. I have a normal, grown up, day job. It is not necessary for me to stay up past midnight. Ever. I don't need coffee at 5pm. Or 7pm.
Long story short, I gave up coffee because I had to. You don't have to be addicted to prescription medicine or illegal drugs or alcohol to be a "user and abuser". You can abuse anything (or anyone) by relying on them at all. If I want to really follow Jesus, I rely on Him. That's all. The end. I don't rely on anything or anyone else. Not even myself. Without Jesus, I am nothing. Without Jesus, I can do nothing. I am incapable of fixing things on my own--no matter how many times I try, I cannot do it. The good news is, Jesus already fixed it when He died in my place and then defeated death with His resurrection! (Happy Easter!) So really it's pretty stupid of me to try and fix things that Jesus already fixed. I'm doing WAY more work than I need to do. What I didn't realize was that I was using coffee as a means to fuel my pride. I was trying to control everything and handle everything by staying awake. That's so unhealthy. It's not just bad for my body, but also for my mind, my heart, my soul, my relationships, my sanity. I didn't realize any of this until I cut coffee out of my life.
The first couple of days were difficult. If you've ever given up anything addictive, you know that your body goes through withdrawals. Weaning yourself off of coffee means caffeine headaches. Good news though. Water helps. A lot. And sleep helps. And they don't last forever. Now is probably a good time to mention that I did not give up caffeine in general for Lent. Just coffee. So I still drank iced tea and hot tea and ate chocolate. (Side note: I gave up chocolate for Lent two years ago. That ship has sailed. Thankyouverymuch.) I'm 2 days post-Easter and 3 days post-Lent, and I've had approximately 4 cups of coffee since Sunday morning. I thought about not going back to it at all, but God has healed my heart in this situation. I'll spare you the tearful details, but it has been A JOURNEY. Aren't all good things part of a journey? It's definitely not over yet, but my perspective of it--of life--is different. Who knew coffee could have that kind of impact?
Drinking just tea and water for the last 6 weeks or so is what caused a shift in my perspective, and HERE is where you'll find the meaning of this post's title (...are you excited??). I like words. Let's play a word game. When you hear the word "coffee", what do you think of? Here's what I think of: energy, speed, heat, being frantic, rushing, green mermaid ladies. Next question. When you hear the word "tea", what do you think of? Here's my list: calm, warm, time, space, pretty things, refreshing. Do you see a difference? I'm not saying that drinking coffee means you're frantic or in a hurry. Coffee can be refreshing. When I think of times I've met my friends for coffee, I think of times of refreshment and restoration and soul-filling conversation. My problem wasn't with coffee. Coffee is not the bad guy here. My problem was in my heart. Whenever I felt frantic or out of control, I would turn inward to fix the problem, using coffee as fuel. What I should ALWAYS do instead is turn to Jesus. Turning to Jesus can mean more than one thing. Sometimes it's just getting alone with my Bible, my journal and a pen and spending time in God's Word. Sometimes it's going for a walk outside where I can enjoy God's creation. Sometimes it's allowing people who care ABOUT me to care FOR me. Sometimes it's asking people who are smarter than I am for help. And sometimes those situations involve coffee. Or tea. Or water. Or juice. Or ice cream. But turning to Jesus NEVER looks like me handling anything on my own.
Trying to do life alone is not what God intended for us. It's actually dangerous. God designed us for community--both with Him and with other people. In the Amplified version of the Bible, 1 Peter 5:6-7 says:
Isn't that wonderful? God cares FOR me and ABOUT me. Like I said before, Jesus already finished the work on the cross. There's no work left to be done. I just have to let go and trust Him. We have the easiest jobs in the world, but so often we make things more difficult than they are. The featured blog at (in)courage today is about letting go of our worries. We carry things around that God has offered to take from us and carry for us. We are dumb, y'all. That's dumb! God is bigger than any of our problems or concerns or worries or insecurities, and (bonus!) He wants to take care of us and carry it for us! Can we just let Him?
I'm committing to not trying to fix anything on my own. Because I can't. There is nothing too big or too small for God. I can't tell you what to do because I don't know your story. I haven't lived it. But I can tell you that it's not worth trying to carry burdens on your own. I don't have any answers to give you, so let me just encourage you. Jesus is there. Waiting patiently for us to trust Him. He will handle the hard things. Sometimes it seems hard to let go, but honestly it ends up being so much easier and so much better than holding on.
So let go with me? Choose the calm over the storm. It's not about the coffee or the tea. It's about the state of our hearts and who we're relying on. Choose the calm.
Love.
This year, I gave up coffee for Lent. (If you don't know what Lent is, you can read more about it here.) I'm not Catholic or Lutheran or Anglican. I'm Baptist. So it may seem odd to you that I participate in Lent, but it's something I started observing as a religion student at Belmont, and it helps me get my heart and mind focused and ready for Easter every year, so I've kept it up.
If you know anything about me at all, you probably know that coffee is very near and dear to my heart. I've had some wonderful friends over the years that have introduced me to quaint coffee shops and styles of brewing coffee and how espresso is actually a lot like wine in that you can taste different hints of flavors depending on the origin of the coffee beans or how it's processed. Coffee fascinates me, and I love it dearly. I didn't give up coffee for Lent to punish myself. I gave up coffee for Lent because of what coffee represented to me. Coffee had become an escape - a quick fix - an addiction. I had at least one cup every morning, but most of the time I'd have another cup or two in the afternoon or evening. I stopped drinking soft drinks almost three years ago, so coffee has been my main source of caffeine.
I am the proud owner of a Starbucks Rewards Card that has my name and "Member since 2011" stamped on the front of its shiny gold surface. I've used it so often that it's starting to show the effects of being swiped through a card reader over and over and over--sometimes multiple times a day. Not only was I essentially using coffee like a drug, I was also being irresponsible with my money by spending so much of it on coffee every month. Did you know that you can reload your Starbucks card online or from an app on your smart phone? You can. It's very easy. Too easy. After $25 here and $10 there, I was just drinking my paychecks away. If you read that sentence alone, you'd think I was talking about alcohol. Nope. Still coffee. Are you starting to see the problem I had? Kind of ridiculous. IT'S JUST COFFEE. I told myself that I didn't need it. I could live without it. But many afternoons, I'd find myself in the drive-thru on the way home from work. I'm not in college anymore. I have a normal, grown up, day job. It is not necessary for me to stay up past midnight. Ever. I don't need coffee at 5pm. Or 7pm.
Long story short, I gave up coffee because I had to. You don't have to be addicted to prescription medicine or illegal drugs or alcohol to be a "user and abuser". You can abuse anything (or anyone) by relying on them at all. If I want to really follow Jesus, I rely on Him. That's all. The end. I don't rely on anything or anyone else. Not even myself. Without Jesus, I am nothing. Without Jesus, I can do nothing. I am incapable of fixing things on my own--no matter how many times I try, I cannot do it. The good news is, Jesus already fixed it when He died in my place and then defeated death with His resurrection! (Happy Easter!) So really it's pretty stupid of me to try and fix things that Jesus already fixed. I'm doing WAY more work than I need to do. What I didn't realize was that I was using coffee as a means to fuel my pride. I was trying to control everything and handle everything by staying awake. That's so unhealthy. It's not just bad for my body, but also for my mind, my heart, my soul, my relationships, my sanity. I didn't realize any of this until I cut coffee out of my life.
The first couple of days were difficult. If you've ever given up anything addictive, you know that your body goes through withdrawals. Weaning yourself off of coffee means caffeine headaches. Good news though. Water helps. A lot. And sleep helps. And they don't last forever. Now is probably a good time to mention that I did not give up caffeine in general for Lent. Just coffee. So I still drank iced tea and hot tea and ate chocolate. (Side note: I gave up chocolate for Lent two years ago. That ship has sailed. Thankyouverymuch.) I'm 2 days post-Easter and 3 days post-Lent, and I've had approximately 4 cups of coffee since Sunday morning. I thought about not going back to it at all, but God has healed my heart in this situation. I'll spare you the tearful details, but it has been A JOURNEY. Aren't all good things part of a journey? It's definitely not over yet, but my perspective of it--of life--is different. Who knew coffee could have that kind of impact?
Drinking just tea and water for the last 6 weeks or so is what caused a shift in my perspective, and HERE is where you'll find the meaning of this post's title (...are you excited??). I like words. Let's play a word game. When you hear the word "coffee", what do you think of? Here's what I think of: energy, speed, heat, being frantic, rushing, green mermaid ladies. Next question. When you hear the word "tea", what do you think of? Here's my list: calm, warm, time, space, pretty things, refreshing. Do you see a difference? I'm not saying that drinking coffee means you're frantic or in a hurry. Coffee can be refreshing. When I think of times I've met my friends for coffee, I think of times of refreshment and restoration and soul-filling conversation. My problem wasn't with coffee. Coffee is not the bad guy here. My problem was in my heart. Whenever I felt frantic or out of control, I would turn inward to fix the problem, using coffee as fuel. What I should ALWAYS do instead is turn to Jesus. Turning to Jesus can mean more than one thing. Sometimes it's just getting alone with my Bible, my journal and a pen and spending time in God's Word. Sometimes it's going for a walk outside where I can enjoy God's creation. Sometimes it's allowing people who care ABOUT me to care FOR me. Sometimes it's asking people who are smarter than I am for help. And sometimes those situations involve coffee. Or tea. Or water. Or juice. Or ice cream. But turning to Jesus NEVER looks like me handling anything on my own.
Trying to do life alone is not what God intended for us. It's actually dangerous. God designed us for community--both with Him and with other people. In the Amplified version of the Bible, 1 Peter 5:6-7 says:
Therefore
humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation]
under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you,
Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all]
on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
Isn't that wonderful? God cares FOR me and ABOUT me. Like I said before, Jesus already finished the work on the cross. There's no work left to be done. I just have to let go and trust Him. We have the easiest jobs in the world, but so often we make things more difficult than they are. The featured blog at (in)courage today is about letting go of our worries. We carry things around that God has offered to take from us and carry for us. We are dumb, y'all. That's dumb! God is bigger than any of our problems or concerns or worries or insecurities, and (bonus!) He wants to take care of us and carry it for us! Can we just let Him?
I'm committing to not trying to fix anything on my own. Because I can't. There is nothing too big or too small for God. I can't tell you what to do because I don't know your story. I haven't lived it. But I can tell you that it's not worth trying to carry burdens on your own. I don't have any answers to give you, so let me just encourage you. Jesus is there. Waiting patiently for us to trust Him. He will handle the hard things. Sometimes it seems hard to let go, but honestly it ends up being so much easier and so much better than holding on.
So let go with me? Choose the calm over the storm. It's not about the coffee or the tea. It's about the state of our hearts and who we're relying on. Choose the calm.
Love.
Monday, May 21, 2012
(in)couragement
I just want to brag on God for a hot second.
I've told you before that my b. friend gave me Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts" for Christmas. I started reading Ann's blog shortly after I started her book. Through her blog, I discovered that she wrote sometimes for a blog community called (in)courage. Lots of women contribute to that blog, so it's not always the same voice. Sometimes the posts are about being a wife or mom, and that doesn't apply to me. But the posts are always about being a woman, and that always applies (and is always needed). So I subscribed to the (in)courage daily emails. Through this blog community, I've been exposed to some of the most sincere writing I've ever read. These women are real. They're people. They have struggles. They have success. They have times when they need prayer. They have times when everything is peachy. And they write about it. All of it. Through (in)courage, I've found many of the personal blogs of these writers, so I'm reading some of them every day...or at least every post. Every sentence isn't always applicable, but I'm learning from them that sometimes all you need is one sentence to speak to someone's heart. There has not been one day that someone associated with the (in)courage community has not blessed me.
Sometimes I'm afraid to read today's post because I'm afraid it might step on my toes or draw out some deep conviction that I've been trying to dampen and deaden. And it usually does. But that brings growth. That brings closer relationship with my Jesus. That brings a feeling of community centered on these women that I have never met or spoken to...but there is something about them that is like me. We share a common bond. Each of them is different, and they're all different from me and the other readers. But in one way we're all exactly the same. We're women who love Jesus. That tag can be put on each of us, and that means connection. It means none of us are alone. It means these ladies can put a need on their blog and ask for intercession and they can rest in the fact that they have intercessors! It means that no matter how lonely this life gets for any of us, or how much we feel like we might be the only person to have ever experienced something...there is always someone out there. Someone who has been where we are, or someone who will be. The thing is...we have to reach out sometimes. We have to get out of our comfort zones--no matter what they look like--and trust that God will provide. He created us for community. That's where we thrive. Where we don't have to do everything alone. Where we can join up with others and depend on Him. He gifts us with people and we oftentimes just take them for granted. I know I do.
So today, I am thankful for (in)courage and the community it has allowed me to be a part of. Through (in)RL. Through its contributors. Through its raw truth and honesty. Through its affirmation that I am not alone. Through allowing Jesus to live through and within.
Thank you, Lord, for using (in)courage on a daily basis to speak to my heart. Thank you for knowing me and loving me. You are good.
I've told you before that my b. friend gave me Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts" for Christmas. I started reading Ann's blog shortly after I started her book. Through her blog, I discovered that she wrote sometimes for a blog community called (in)courage. Lots of women contribute to that blog, so it's not always the same voice. Sometimes the posts are about being a wife or mom, and that doesn't apply to me. But the posts are always about being a woman, and that always applies (and is always needed). So I subscribed to the (in)courage daily emails. Through this blog community, I've been exposed to some of the most sincere writing I've ever read. These women are real. They're people. They have struggles. They have success. They have times when they need prayer. They have times when everything is peachy. And they write about it. All of it. Through (in)courage, I've found many of the personal blogs of these writers, so I'm reading some of them every day...or at least every post. Every sentence isn't always applicable, but I'm learning from them that sometimes all you need is one sentence to speak to someone's heart. There has not been one day that someone associated with the (in)courage community has not blessed me.
Sometimes I'm afraid to read today's post because I'm afraid it might step on my toes or draw out some deep conviction that I've been trying to dampen and deaden. And it usually does. But that brings growth. That brings closer relationship with my Jesus. That brings a feeling of community centered on these women that I have never met or spoken to...but there is something about them that is like me. We share a common bond. Each of them is different, and they're all different from me and the other readers. But in one way we're all exactly the same. We're women who love Jesus. That tag can be put on each of us, and that means connection. It means none of us are alone. It means these ladies can put a need on their blog and ask for intercession and they can rest in the fact that they have intercessors! It means that no matter how lonely this life gets for any of us, or how much we feel like we might be the only person to have ever experienced something...there is always someone out there. Someone who has been where we are, or someone who will be. The thing is...we have to reach out sometimes. We have to get out of our comfort zones--no matter what they look like--and trust that God will provide. He created us for community. That's where we thrive. Where we don't have to do everything alone. Where we can join up with others and depend on Him. He gifts us with people and we oftentimes just take them for granted. I know I do.
So today, I am thankful for (in)courage and the community it has allowed me to be a part of. Through (in)RL. Through its contributors. Through its raw truth and honesty. Through its affirmation that I am not alone. Through allowing Jesus to live through and within.
Thank you, Lord, for using (in)courage on a daily basis to speak to my heart. Thank you for knowing me and loving me. You are good.
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