Day 28: Recovery

They say you should take one day off for every mile you run in a race...unless you're continuing your training for something else. Just like most other times it's used, I can't put a face or name to "they". I know some people cannot take that much time off. They get antsy and have pent up energy that they need to get rid of somehow, so they don't take 13 days off after a half or 26 after a full marathon. I think that's okay sometimes. You have to read your body to know what you need. It's not going to be the same for every person. It shouldn't be. Your training isn't exactly the same as someone else's. Even if you train together and do the same exact things, your body is yours and their body is theirs and it's different. Some people (me) have a hard time starting again after 13 days off. Especially if it's winter. I've told you before that I'm VERY good at talking myself out of things.

We need rest and recovery after other events in our lives too--not just races, not just exercise, not just training. Sometimes we need to recover from life. My mom and sister visited over the weekend, and we went full speed ahead the entire time they were here. And it's already Tuesday and I'm still exhausted! That's right. It's not Monday. I forgot to post yesterday on the actual 28th because I was nearly asleep for most of the day. :) Today is better, so you'll hopefully get two posts and I'll hopefully get a run in. We shall see, my friends. We shall see.

Day 25: Time

I am not good at time. I'm notoriously late to everything. My friends used to tell me to get places 30 minutes before they actually started so I'd be there on time. One time I actually showed up at the time they told me, and they were all shocked. Good times. I'm a teensy bit better about it these days, but not really. The truth is, I have NO concept of how long it takes me to do anything. Also. I tend to forget to start things until the last minute. Whether that is getting ready or cleaning or getting out of bed...everything. I know that I function better and I'm happier when I have plenty of time to do things and get places. But sometimes my procrastinating, lazy side wins out. I hate that. I don't want to be known for that forever. Today, I failed at changing my habits. I didn't allow enough time for everything I needed to do this morning.

My mom and sister will be here tonight, and my room is currently a giant pile of clothes. So when I get home today, I'm going to put those clothes away and change the sheets on my bed and try to make some open space for them to live in this weekend. They'll only be here for a few days, but there is something deep inside of me that wants to be a good hostess. So I'll try with the space I have. I hope to one day have a house where people feel welcomed and loved. Where the girls in my Sunday School class can come and bake cookies and pile up on the furniture and sleep over. Where students can spread out and eat snacks and stay up all night talking (girls) or wrestling in the basement (boys) during weekend retreats. I don't care what it looks like or if it's brand new or has the nicest appliances and newest style of hardwood floors. I just want it to be open. And feel like home. The older I get, the more I appreciate the stuff that really matters, and it's not stuff at all. It's people. People matter. I want my life to reflect that. THAT'S what I want to be known for forever. Not for being late. But for noticing people and making them feel like they matter.

Day 17: Listen

I haven't been running this week. I wrote on Tuesday about having an allergic reaction, and the effects of that have lingered through the rest of the week. So I didn't run today either. Plus it was raining. I don't mind running in the rain when it's warm outside, but it's officially Fall in Georgia, and I've been "under the weather" this week already, so I didn't think running in the cold rain would be a good idea. This weekend the weather is supposed to be perfectly Fall-ish. Highs in the low 70s, and lows in the mid 40s. Sunny with just a few clouds. It sounds glorious. Makes me want to go to a pumpkin patch and drink apple cider. :) I've been wearing boots for a couple of weeks already, and if you know me, you know I wear scarves year round. So it's nice for the weather to finally catch up to what I've already been doing. Ha.

Tonight, instead of running, I grabbed some books and my journal and set off for Starbucks. I had a free drink on my rewards card (best feeling ever), so I ordered a decaf drink and sat down, put my headphones in and read and listened and wrote. Even though I talk to God every day, it's good for me to write out my words to Him sometimes. There have been times when journaling my prayers has allowed me to see how ridiculous and anxious I was being. There have been times when it's allowed me to see a part of the big picture I was missing before. But mostly, it always helps me focus. If you're like me and most other people, it's easy to get distracted when you're praying unless you're praying out loud or writing it down. So writing helps me stay focused. I've had a pretty busy week. Add that to not feeling 100% awesome, and I was pretty worn out and worn down. Tonight, I was able to take a little time and just be still and listen.

It's important for us to take care of ourselves. No one else knows what you need except you and Jesus, and most of the time we don't even REALLY know what we need. So just like we have to listen to our bodies when training for anything, we need to listen to our souls too. If you stop and listen for even just a second, you'll know when you need a break. And taking that break is the best thing you can do for yourself and for the ones you love. If that means coffee, Pandora, and your journal like me, then that's awesome. If taking a break means girls' night out (or in), going to a movie, or whatever, that's great. Just take care of yourself. Listen.

Day 9: Making Time

My life at work is about to get really busy. The last time I was this busy at work, I would bring work home with me and work for hours each evening to try and get things done. That situation ended well, but I'm trying to be much more intentional about my time these days. I work in IT, and it would be very easy to get caught up in the newest gadgets and phones and tablets, but I just can't. Also, I don't want to. I want my life to be about the relationships and connections I build and not about what's in my hand and how fast it downloads stuff. Most of the time when I think I don't have enough time to get everything I want to do done, it's because I'm spending too much time on things that don't matter.

So even though work is getting busy, I still want to make time for the important things: taking care of myself (aka running, sleeping, eating right, etc.) and taking care of my relationships.

Day 5: Weekend Running

Sometimes I have lots of time to run on the weekends. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes the weather is perfect. Sometimes it rains. This weekend, I don't have much time, so I'm going to post running related (p)inspiration from my pinterest boards. I might have more time next weekend, but I may not. I'm not going to let it bother me either way.

Loves.

31 Days to Retraining

Once upon a time, I ran a half-marathon. This is the account of me getting back into running after nearly 5 months of...not running, and the adventure God is taking me on in the process.

Day 1: Why?

Day 2: How I chose Half-Marathons 

Day 3: A Confession 

Day 4: Balance 

Day 5: Weekend Running

Day 6: Sunday Runday? 

Day 7: Finishing Well 

Day 8: How Do You Know?

Day 9: Making Time

Day 10: Sometimes I Forget

Day 11: Fuel

Day 12: Let It Go

Day 13: Early Mornings

Day 14: A Different Kind of Fuel

Day 15: Struggle

Day 16: What We Need

Day 17: Listen

Day 18: Focus

Day 19: Even if...

Day 20: Choose Wisely

Day 21: Begin Again

Day 22: Just Keep Going

Day 23: Lifers

Day 24: Sleep?

Day 25: Time

Day 26: Decide what to be

Day 27: Happy Birthday Mom!

Day 28: Recovery

Day 29: Expectations

Day 30: Real Life

Day 31: Grace

if home's where my heart is, then i'm out of place

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, 

the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."

CS Lewis

"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, 

but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God"

Ephesians 2:13,19

"But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ"

Philippians 3:20

I'm homesick. Not for Tennessee (although I think about it a lot), but for Heaven. For HOME. For a place with no imperfections. No pride. No jealousy. No insecurity. No uncertainties. No pain. No questions. Just Jesus. I want to be there.

Moving stretched me. It still does everyday. I love living in Georgia. If for no other reason (and there are TONS), I love living here because I believe God called me here. He orchestrated the events that led to me being here. He's still orchestrating the events of my every day.

But sometimes I ache for familiarity. For people who know my history and have lived it with me. For a place where I know where everything is and how to get there and how to tell you how to get there too. For songs that I know all the words and notes and rhythms to. For food that came from the woods and the garden that I walk through barefoot while the sun goes down. For the smell of tomatoes and cucumbers and okra and potatoes and just good dirt. For miniature iron skillets and homemade biscuits and headlamps and tractors and getting up before the sun to go hunting and staying up later than the moon to go frog gigging and fox calling. For sleeping less and feeling more. For family and blood ties and puzzles and heat lightning. For lemonade in jars and haunted attics and wrap around porches. For memories. For family. My heart aches to return. And sometimes I do. But it's never the same. Not like I remember. Things changed. Life happened. Home is different. I'm different. Everyone else is too. The originals are gone and new ones have joined us. Sometimes I grieve over the changes, and sometimes I rejoice. Don't you do that sometimes too? Grieve for the past and rejoice in the now?

If I miss all of those things that much, I miss Heaven more. That might not make sense to you because I've never been there. But the Bible says my citizenship is in Heaven because I have been adopted into the family of God. I miss my earthly family, but I miss my Heavenly family more. I ache for rest and for a place of no striving...a place of just being with Jesus. If my experiences of growing up in a family that loves me is a glimpse of what it's like to be in Heaven, then I cannot wait to go.

Of course, I will stay here until God calls me Home. And I will try to seek His will for my time here. If He had no purpose for me, I'd already be Home. The same is true for you. He has a plan for you. If you're still here, He's not finished with you. Let's not waste the time that we have because it's not very much.

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'--yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. 

What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

James 4:13-14

This is where the healing begins.

Raise your hand if you're an introvert!!! Not likely, huh? Or, if you're anything like me, you're definitely not going first.

Hello. My name is Alicia. And I am an introvert. Don't get me wrong. I love people. Love. After Jesus, I love people best. That's how my degree ended up too: Religion Major. Psychology Minor. Jesus Major. People Minor. I love people, and I love serving people. But sometimes I just need time. Quiet. Peace. Rest. God made me in such a way that I need to retreat to refuel. Some people need to be with others and draw strength from being part of a crowd. I draw strength from getting by myself somewhere and breathing deep the presence of the Creator.
Isn't it amazing how God just knows? He gets it. He gets me. When it feels like everyone else is giving me funny looks and saying, "...you really went by yourself?" God is looking at me and smiling because He understands. And not just because Jesus retreated to pray by himself...but because God MADE me. He knows how I work, and He loves it. All of it.

So. In true God fashion, He surprised me this week. Last weekend was extra taxing, and I was spent. Monday night, I went home from work, changed clothes, and walked out the door with no destination in mind. About a mile down the road, I had my mind set on Starbucks, but half-way there, I turned into the parking lot of a local coffee shop instead. I stayed there for an hour and a half and then went on to Starbucks. All in all, I had about 3 hours of focused alone time on Monday. It was refreshing, but I was still dealing with distractions and a million thoughts flying through my head.
On Tuesday, I headed out to one of our conference centers to do some work with their staff. I was going to a place I'd never been to work with people I'd never met. I was --guess what-- anxious. But God is good, y'all. He is so good. I ended up at the most beautiful place I'd ever been in Georgia with the nicest people and some much needed alone time. I won't go into too much wordy detail, but I will let my pictures do the talking.
Just remember, when you feel discouraged or alone or worn plum out, God knows. He knows you. When no one else understands, He gets it. Because He made you.

["McDonalds sunglasses"]

Grace and Peace.